I drove quickly down to La Push, not really paying any attention to the road. I thought about how I would explain this to Mom. Not to mention Dad...
I could just tell her right away. I’m pregnant. Don’t ask. And then just leave without meeting her gaze. But I realized I would have to answer her questions and accusations eventually anyway. I was such a coward! Option A was out.
I could lie. Say something like: We just had a little fight, and Jake overreacted. It’s okay, nothing to worry about.
Why didn’t you just tell me? She would ask.
I didn’t want any questions...
That would probably work perfect with any other human being. But I knew Bella Cullen too well to even try to lie. Sooner or later, she would catch me with a big, fat lie. Literally. Option B was out, too.
Witch left me with only one option, C.
Option C was quite embarrassing. It was to ask Jacob what the hell I was going to do. I decided as I stopped the car by our house; I would talk to Jacob on our way to the hospital.
I opened the door. ”Jake! Jacob Black?”
”In a minute!” He was in the kitchen. Our house wasn’t big at all. Two rooms and a kitchen. And bathroom, thankfully...
The bedroom contained one queen-sized bed, two closets and a mirror. Alice didn’t really approve the one-closet-each-thing. But then, it wasn’t her business. I had a few clothes back at Mom and Dad’s place. Jacob didn’t need that many clothes. I smiled at the thought.
I lay down on the couch and picked up my copy of Wuthering Heights. Mom had insisted on me reading it. So far I liked it. A little slow, but still my kind of book. Catherine’s pathetic with all her crying, but I like Heathcliff. I feel like we have something in common, me and him. We’re both a bit different...
I put it back on the table. I knew it wasn’t good for me to think about what I was.
I started to look around the room instead. The front door was at the eastern side of the house. It led to the living room, where I was at the moment. When you got in you almost crashed into our little TV, but if you held left you would crash into the fireplace instead.
In front of the TV was the couch, one armchair and a little table. There was a bookshelf, too. Poor thing didn’t get that much attention.
The kitchen was nothing special, just a very rectangular room, filled with furniture that would remind you of a...kitchen.
I chuckled at myself. Of course it looked like a kitchen, stupid!
”What?” asked the sweetest voice in the entire universe.
I stood up, taking his hand while I rushed for the door.
”Where’s the fire?”
”I’ll explain on the way. Just come.” We got into the car, and I immediately put the key in the ignition and turned it.
”Hang on,” Jacob said. He took my face between his hands. ”Where are we going?”
I put my hands around his neck. To the hospital, I thought.
He looked confused.
Carlisle knows. And probably Alice, too.
Jacob sighed and bent in to kiss me. His lips was soft against mine, moving vividly.
I exhaled and shifted the clutch. ”Here we go,” I said, hoping that I didn’t sound as freaked out as I was.

Suddenly the sun peeked through my window.
“Is Dad here?” I asked.
“Yes. I can ask him to leave if you want?”
“No, that’s fine.” I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. A big mistake. I knew I was beautiful, but right now I couldn’t think of anything else than my tomato-red cheeks and my hair that looked like a haystack. I groaned.
I picked up my comb and a hair ribbon.  In five seconds I was beautiful again.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?”
“Tonight,” I said without thinking.
“Promise?”
No? I sighed. “Mm…”
She gave me the “yes-or-no?” eye.
I sighed once more. “Yes! Okay. Promise.” I realized I had lifted my hands in a gesture that reminded of what you’d do if a police caught you, stealing something or driving too fast.
“Thank you.”
I thought about what Mom had told me that night. About her life. Of course I knew Jacob and Mom had been in love, but I didn’t know how complicated things had been. Though she did stop at her and Dad’s wedding. Maybe just because she knew I was tired, but I thought there must have been another reason. Something she didn’t want me to know. Something about me…
I still wanted to talk with Carlisle, so I thought Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle during the whole breakfast.
I didn’t hear a word from the living room. Mom must have been “telling” Dad about the night. Great.
I got up to the big house as soon as I could, and knocked on Carlisle’s door.
“Come on in, Renesmee.” I opened the door.
“What can I do for you today?” he asked.
“A lot…” I murmured. He looked questioning at me.
“First of all, I have to ask you not to thing about the following conversation.”
“I understand.” He smiled shyly. Thank you, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…
“Do you have any post-its?”
“Sure,” he said and opened a drawer in his desk.
“Thank you,” I said as he handed me the post-its and a pen. I began writing, holding my hand up as a wall.
“And this secret is safe with you?”
“Of course!”
I showed him the post-it.

I’m late

He took a deep breath and grabbed the pen and the post-its. Then he wrote with his perfect writing.

How long?

I wrote quickly.

>2 weeks

In my head, I counted to 100 and back in Latin.

How do you feel?

Weird, threw up yesterday

Jacob knows?

Sort of

He looked at me. I looked at him.

Do you want to make a test?

I thought about that for a moment, though I didn’t stop counting. I wanted to make a test, I really did. But that would be so obvious. Unless…
I nodded.

At the hospital, alone.

Just as I finished the last word, nausea was attacking me. I bet Carlisle saw that because suddenly there was a dustbin in my hands.
Gross.
Carlisle handed me a box with paper-napkins.
“Thanks,” I managed to say. He started squeezing my stomach. Then he took the pen and wrote.

No doubt you’re pregnant.

I glared at him. Then someone knocked the door. Esme, I thought.
“Hold on,” Carlisle told her.

Still wanna go to the hospital?

As soon as possible.

“Please enter, Esme.”
She stepped inside. “Is everyone all right?” Esme asked, considering as always.
“Everyone is fine, just fine,” Carlisle answered her. “I’m going to the hospital, Dr Tremor Called.”
“Okay.” She smiled and turned to leave.
“Could you get Alice for me?” I asked her.
“Sure.” Esme smiled and left this time. I began writing again.

I’ll meet you at the hospital.

You sure?

Of course not, Carlisle. How could you think anything else? I continued writing quickly.

Jake.

Then Alice came inside. She looked a bit suspicious. Carlisle eyed me and left us.
“Please, sit,” I asked Alice. She hesitated for a while, but then she sat down anyway.
“Did you, like, get any weird visions lately?” I whispered.
“Nah, just Carlisle doing a pregnancy test at the hospital.”
I put my hand at her cheek.
This stays with you, I ordered. She gasped, eyes wide with shock. I glared at her. Her eyes were pointed at me, though she was somewhere else. I saw the clock in the corner of my eye.
“I have to go. Promise.” She nodded, eyes still far away. I wondered what she saw, but I didn’t dwell on it. Instead I turned towards the door and started walking.
“Renesmee, wait!”
Alice gave me a note with something written on it.

Where will you be?

I took the pen out of her hand.

La Push. Don’t call. Thanks.

I tried to smile and left the office.

I ran through the forest. Dad, leave. Dad, leave. Dad, leave! I slowed down a little when I saw the house, or should I say cottage? Leave, leave, leave. And don’t ask.
He went outside, looked at me for a brief moment, and ran away, towards the big house. Blue, blue, blue, blue.
I opened the front door.  My room, room, room, room, room. Mom came after me. I lay down in my bed, and she lay at my side.
Silence. She new just how to make me feel better.
“Shh, it’s okay. Everything is okay.” The tears gushed down my face.
“Can you tell me something?”
“What? Do you have anything in mind?”
“No, nothing in particular.”
“Okay. There’s actually something I would like you to know.”
I waited for her to continue.
“You know I haven’t lived here in Forks like this all the time,” she started.
I thought about my very first memory, Mom as human.
“I lived in Phoenix at first, with Renée and Phil. But when I was seventeen I moved here, to live with Charlie.
“First day at school was horrible. I met this weird, but beautiful guy. We were lab partners in Biology, but the following week or so, he was gone.”
“Dad, right?”
“Yup. Anyway, my friends and me went on a trip to La Push First Beach. That’s when I met Jacob for the first time. He told me some quileute legends. Soon after that, I understood what Edward and his siblings were.”
“Vampires?”
“Yes. Then it all began.”
“What?”
“I’m about to tell you. Be patient.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Anyway, Edward and I fell in love—“
“Aw…”
“Stop interrupting me!”
I chuckled. “’Kay.”
"I had this dream, to become like him. But he didn’t want that to happen. So they left Forks.”
I knew this; that Dad had left.
“I was depressed for months. But then I met Jacob again. We hung out almost every day. Until the fever set in.
He told me to remember what he’d said at the beach, when we’d first met. After a while I realized what he was, a werewolf.
“We became friends again, but not entirely like before. He wasn’t the same.”
“Get to the point…”
“Sorry. Got caught up by the moment…”
“’S okay.”
“Right. Anyway, I jumped off a cliff—“
“You did what?”
“I went cliff diving. No big deal.”
“Yeah, right…”
“No. But Alice thought I was dead, and Rose told Edward. So he went to the Volturi—“ I winced at my memories of the black robes, “—but I’m not going to give you nightmares by telling you that story.
“Anyhow, they got back to Forks. But Jake and I were better friends than what Edward approved. Plus, Jake’s feelings for me were of a different kind than mine were for him.
“Buy now Edward had promised me to change me. He would do it himself on one condition. I would have to marry him.”
“And you did,” I commented.
“Not exactly. Later. Just let me talk.”
“You don’t really like it when I interrupt, do you?”
“Not at all.”
I smiled.
“When Jake found out about our marriage he was mad and disappointed. So he left. He left La Push. We didn’t know where he was, not even Sam knew.
“But we didn’t let that stop out plans. The wedding was beautiful, you should have been there.”
“Do you have any pictures?”
“Sure, I’ll show you sometime.”
She didn’t say anything for a while.
“That’s it? End of story?”
“Oh, right. Forgot. Sorry.
“At the party, we got visit from a very close friend.”
“Jacob!”
“Yes. You have no idea how glad I was.”
“I can imagine.”
She sighed.
“Where was your honeymoon?” I could ask that, right?
“You will find out eventually,” she said, smug.
“Hey! That’s not fair!”
“Actually, it is. I didn’t know until we were there.”
“Haha, okay.” I chuckled. But then I remembered why I was here, and started to cry again.
“My little baby,” Mom whispered and took me in her arms.
I cried myself to sleep that night.

I stared at myself in the mirror. No way! I only wore underwear, I had just woken up. Jake was out with the pack. I turned to look at my profile.

It is hard, trying to deny the impossible truth. Two weeks had gone. I had never been late before. Never! Not a single day.

Two weeks.

My eyes scanned my body. Evidently, my face was green. At least it felt green. I dashed into the toilet.

Oh, no! Throwing up was not a good sign. I went into the kitchen and filled a glass of water. As I drank it, I realized I had to see Carlisle. Tomorrow. Maybe...

I kept on thinking like that the whole day. Jacob came home about 3 pm. He reminded me of the fact that Sam, Emily, and their two sons Adam and Leonard, was going to have dinner with us. Luckily, I hadn’t forgotten.

I’d taken a shower just before he got home, and I was beginning to cook. I was a very good chef, I had to admit. Tonight I was making pork chop with an apple-sauce and potatoes.

The Uleys came over at seven. Dinner was just ready, and I asked Jacob to lay the table.

”Smells great.” he said as he entered the kitchen.

”Thank you,” I said and looked down in the floor, a little embarrassed. Emotions had attacked me all day, and I figured it must be the... thing.

”Hey, is there something wrong?” Jake said, taking my face in his hands.

Everything’s wrong! I almost thought.

”No.”

He looked right into my eyes, doubting. ”You sure about that? Nothing wrong at all?”

”Yes and no,” I answered both of his questions. He kissed my forehead and put his arm around my waist. He held me close to him as he led me to the living room.

”Dinner’s ready,” I said to our guests. Emily was the one to react first.

”Do you have any special seating in mind?” she asked politely.

”No, we’re not that formal,” I answered her. Jake was talking to Sam, I didn’t bother to listen.

”Then I’ll sit next to you, I think.”

”Sure,” I said and smiled. Thank you, Emily! Jake sat down at my other side. He took my hand instead. I held it tight; I needed him close to me.

Leo was the younger of the two boys; he recently turned thirteen. He didn’t say that much; filled with hormones, obviously. He sat down across from Emily. Next to him was Adam.

Adam was fifteen, almost sixteen. He hadn’t got the ”fever” yet, though it was just a matter of time. So far he was acting very nice to everybody.

Sam sat next to Adam, opposite Jacob.

”Enjoy!” I said when everyone was seated.

The food was appreciated, and nothing was left over. We had a really good time, almost crying with laughter sometimes. Everyone but Leo. After about an hour he asked Emily if he could go home.

”Leo...” Emily said. He sighed and looked out the window.

”It’s okay,” I whispered to Emily. She sighed, too.

”Fine.”

”Keys?”

”Under the flowers—”

”As usual...” He left with heavy steps, and his head was hanging down like a dead flower.

”Please excuse him. He just broke up with his girlfriend,” Sam said.

”Oh, of course,” I said. The conversations moved on. Emily and I talked about a movie we had seen last week. It was a comedy, and it was really funny. We still laughed at some parts.

I really enjoyed myself as the hours passed by. I ended up in Jacob’s arms, cuddling a little.

But suddenly, totally out of the blue, the nice atmosphere was destroyed by a question from Sam.

”So, have you guys thought about marriage and children yet?”

Awkward silence. Luckily I already held Jacob’s hand. Please, Jake, say something!

”No, we haven’t talked about that yet...” I let go of his hand.

Fuck! I did not like swearing at all, but it felt like I didn’t have a choice.

Jake put his arm around me, so that his hand was placed at the middle of my stomach.

Adam started talking about his school-project instead. My eyes were probably screaming Thank you, Adam!

Then, with the perfect timing, the incomprehensible happened. The thing turned! Or maybe it moved, whatever. With Jake’s hand on it!

Jacob had just begun to relax, when he froze. I couldn’t even feel him breathing.

FUCK! This wasn’t happening!

”Renesmee,” he breathed into my ear. I swallowed. "What. Was. That?” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even notice that everything was quiet. I ran outside.

”Nessie!” Jake shouted and ran after me.

”I don’t know...” I murmured to myself.

”What was that?” he repeated. ”Is it what I think it is?”

I sat down by my favorite tree. But Jacob wouldn’t let me. He dragged me up to my feet again. It was like I was somewhere else. Jacob was standing in front of me, talking to me. I even think he was shaking me.

I didn’t react. His voice was far away, and so were my thoughts. I had to see Carlisle. Now.

I came back to reality.

”...made a test? Are you sure? How long...?

”Shh!” He looked at me. ”One question at a time,” I ordered. He swallowed and scrubbed his face with his hands.

”Renesmee, are you pregnant?” he said between his hands.

”I don’t know.” Almost true...

”So you haven’t made a test?”

”No.” True.

He nodded once. ”Do you want to?”

”What? Make a test?”

He nodded again. I shook my head.

”Okay,” he said. I thought the interrogation was over, but apparently, it wasn’t. ”For how long have you known?”

”I said I didn’t know—”

”How long, Nessie?” He glared at me.

”I’ve been late for two weeks,” I almost said. He heard me.

”Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, pleading now.

”I don’t know...” He made me feel embarrassed. I guess it was fair enough.

”You don’t know...” he chuckled.

”No,” I murmured. ”I love you.” He turned to look at the house, and I took my chance.

I ran. Away from Jacob, away from the house, away from our guests. Away from the questions.

”Renesmee!” I heard him call after me. I was afraid he’d follow, but I did not turn around.

Since I didn’t know where Dad was, I had to keep my thoughts away from him. Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle...

When I got to the big house, I took a quick look in the window. My cheeks was striped with tears.

I opened the front door. ”Carlisle?” I called quietly. Rosalie came down the stairs.

”He and Esme are out, hunting. Is there something wrong?” I ignored her question.

”When will he be back?” I didn’t care about Esme right now.

”Tomorrow, I think.”

”Thank you, Rose,” I said and turned.

”No problem...”

I decided to text Jacob. I knew it was cowardly done, but I couldn’t talk to him yet.

 

I’m sorry. Sleeping at Mom and Dad’s tonight. Please forgive me.

 

After a half minute, I got reply.

 

I love you. You’re forgiven. I understand.

 

I replied a short message, too.

 

I love you too. Thank you.